Only The Good Die Young
by leanaticsuk
Summary: Rachel Berry is a successful Broadway star, engaged to the handsome Finn Hudson, she has an amazing career ahead of her but what happens when she's diagnosed with cancer?
1. Chapter 1

**Only The Good Die Young.**

**Chapter 1**

I never thought that this would be me. I mean, I'm a Broadway star with a great career; I've been in twelve musicals, nine of which were leading roles, I won my first Tony award at 23 and have been offered parts in several Hollywood blockbusters. I have an amazing home and a fantastic, supportive family and fiancee. Everything seems great, but I am 27 years old and I have just been diagnosed with cancer.

The Big C. The one thing that everyone is scared of. The one thing that everyone knows about. The one thing that everyone dreads. And I've got it. I may have done a lot so far in my lifetime and had many more opportunities than others, but I still have so many dreams and now suddenly they're all pouring away like the sand from a broken hourglass.

From the minute the doctors walked into the room I knew it wasn't good, they had that look on their faces, you know, the one that says 'we're really sorry to say this, but, you're going to die'.

When I first went to the hospital I never expected to come out with a life changing diagnosis, I only went for a routine check, I'd been feeling and being sick for a few months, I'd had stomach cramps and I'd started losing weight. I thought it couldn't be too bad because nobody else had noticed anything, not even my fiancee Finn who normally notices everything, but I went anyway just so I could make sure everything was okay. It wasn't.

The doctors say that I have progression 4 stomach cancer. Its typical me, always different to everyone else, I can never just be simple. I shouldn't have got cancer, especially stomach; I'm the complete opposite of who is supposed to get it. I'm not a 60 year old man, I don't have a bad diet, I don't drink often and I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. This should not be happening to me. This should not be happening to Rachel Barbra Berry.

I'm not scared about dying and I'm not scared about the pain, I'm more scared about hurting my friends and family, and most of all I'm scared of being forgotten. All I can think about is how Finn's face is going to look when I tell him or how my dad's are gonna feel. I don't want to hurt them, especially Finn. He only proposed to me a few months ago, it was the best day of my life, better than when I got my first role on Broadway or even when I won the Tony. But I just love him so, so much, the way he looks at me and the way he hugs me whenever I see him, I just know that he's the one. He's the best man I've ever met and I'm reminded of that everyday when he makes my breakfast (brown toast with fresh tomatoes and a splash of oil.) He knows everything I like and he can always make me smile no matter what. I just can't bear hurting him. When we were in High School, I always dreamed of a life with him, sure we had our up's and downs, and everyone told us that we weren't right for each other but, deep down I always knew. And here we are, engaged to be married and ready for our lives ahead of us but now there's no way of that happening. Anyway, I have a rehearsal to go to and nobody can know what's going on. Especially paparazzi. The news would have a field day if they knew that one of the most famous stars has life threatening cancer. No. Nobody can know until they absolutely need to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 2**

"We need the whole cast ready to rehearse act 2, Rachel are you ready?"called James, the director of my new musical.

Ready? Of course I'm not ready, I started chemotherapy yesterday. I feel like if I move I'm going to throw up, my eye's feel as heavy as lead, all I want to do is go home, find Finn and go to bed.

"Yep! Just a minute, I just need some water and I'll be there" I call back, acting as if everything is okay, nobody knows anything, I can't tell them, if I do they'll tell me to leave my job and I'll stop doing everything I love. Finn doesn't know yet, when I feel like this, all I want to do is go to bed and get him to bring me soup and hugs, but if I do he'll know something is wrong and my secret will be out.

"Rachel, we need to start now! We don't have time to dawdle!"

"Yep, sorry, coming!" As I stand up, nausea rushes over me, I take a few deep breaths and get ready to learn the choreography, this is the biggest number in the whole musical and it's being choreographed by Grant Owen who is known as the fiercest choreographer on Broadway. I love Broadway more than anything and normally I love coming to work but today I just want to go home, but I know there's no point thinking that because I have to learn this dance and we only have a day to do it. Here comes hell...

"Okay guys, not the best I've seen but we managed to get the dance done in 6 hours which is pretty good." shrills Grant in a voice that could curdle butter, it's finally over, we've been working for 6 hours straight and it's now 10.30pm, it's really time to go now, I cannot take anymore.

I'm just about to leave and I hear James' voice: "Rachel, can you come over here, I just need a word!"

I fill up with my last ounce of energy and smiles and walk as fast as I can over to James, I'm sure he won't be long, he must be tired too.

"Hi Rachel, sorry to call you now, I know it's late but I just wanted to know if you were okay? You seemed a bit off today during the dance, you're normally step perfect but you kept stopping today and you seem slightly agitated?"

"Oh, sorry, yeah I, I'm fine, just a little tired, that's all, sorry, I'll be better tomorrow... speaking of, is it okay if I come an hour late tomorrow, I have something I need to do?"

"Er, yeah I suppose that's fine Rachel but you can't do it again, we need you here, you may be our star but you can be replaced! And next time give me a bit more notice. Maybe have an extra coffee before work? We can't have wrong steps!"

"Im sorry James, I promise it won't happen again and I will be better, see you tomorrow."

James doesn't know I'm going for chemo tomorrow so I know he's not trying to be mean but honestly I just feel like bursting into tears, I am trying my best to keep everything together, but every step I take is like running a marathon at the moment, I'm trying to cover it up with smiles and energy but this was only my first chemo, what's it going to be like next time? Well, I'll know in the morning so I'm just going to go to bed and get as much sleep as I can and look forward to my call from Finn in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 3**

"Hi Rachie, it's Finn, this is my fourth time calling, I just want to make sure you're okay. You're probably just up extra early for a rehearsal, you are the star after all! Anyway, call me back when you get this message. Love you!"

"Hey Rach, just me again, I hope you're okay, I love you, call me soon"

Oh god, six messages from Finn? I've been at rehearsals since 12pm and it's now 1.30am, I feel like hell and I forgot to call Finn! I can't believe I forgot! I've been waiting to speak to him for days, we keep missing each other, I'll call him now, but I can't let on that I feel ill...

"Hello, you've reached Finn Hudson, sorry I can't talk right now, leave a message and I'll try get back to you asap!..."

"Hi Finn, it's Rachel, sorry I didn't call you, I've been so busy and I forgot! I hope you're okay and safe, I miss you so much, please come home soon! I love you, I'll call you tomorrow morning, love you, bye baby"

I nearly broke down leaving that message, Finn sounds so happy and worry free in his message. If I tell him about the cancer that will all change. I love him so much, more than anything, I would give up everything to make him happy but there's nothing I can do about this. I worry about Finn all the time, he's in Afghanistan, fighting. He's at risk of dying everyday, whenever I hear that someone has been killed there I get so worried it's going to be him. I really don't know what I'd do without him, I don't know what he'd do without me? But soon he's going to be without me soon.

I just hope more than anything that he carries on and finds someone else, I just want him to have the happiest life possible.

All of a sudden I'm brought out of my thoughts by the voices of James and Grant calling me. "Rachel Berry, get over here now! We don't have time for you to sit there doing nothing! Hurry up!"

"Sorry, just coming" We have one more dance rehearsal now and then we should be over, we should finish by 3.00am then I'm back in the morning for 6am. I know Grant and James don't have that much time to put on this musical, but they could be a little more thoughtful of feelings.

**1 Hour Later**

"Okay, done, go! You've done well", calls Grant in a surprisingly happy tone.

I can relax slightly now, I can go home and sleep for at least two hours and then I get to speak to my Finn.


	4. Chapter 4

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 4**

My talk with Finn was amazing, I haven't heard his voice in so long that I started crying as soon as he spoke.

He sounded happy, he said that Santana Lopez and Mercedes Jones had been to visit and sing for them, they're famous singers now, they had solo careers but now work together. Neither Finn or I have seen them for years, after High School we tried to stay in touch but after a few years we just grew apart, still, Finn said it was nice to catch up with them, we may not have been best friends at school but I'm so proud of them and when I hear them on the radio I do miss them. Anyway, I couldn't talk to Finn for too long because he had to go do drills. He doesn't know when he'll be back but he said it will hopefully be soon. I didn't tell him about the cancer, he said I sounded sad but I told him I was just tired and missing him and he didn't say anymore.

That isn't a lie, I am tired and missing him, but I'm also in immense pain, the chemo side effects have started, I feel so nauseous and tired and aching and to be honest I just want to go to sleep for a very long time. I'm going back to the hospital soon, so I'll ask what they can do then but for now I have to grin and bear it and go back to work. Only a short rehearsal today and then we have a few weeks off for summer, I'm going to go and visit Quinn one day. Since we moved to New York we became really close and now she's my best friend! I haven't seen her for weeks though so tomorrow should be good, at least it might take my mind off of everything.

**After Rehearsal**

Rehearsals may have been shorter today but they sure weren't easier. We ran through the whole first act with all the dances and no breaks and then performed all the dances one after another to make sure they were up to Grant's standards. For everyone else they were, but not for me! To be honest, I'm not the best dancer and I know that, maybe I should have thought about that before taking this role, but I knew that I would be able to do it because when I want to do something, I do it. But however much I want to now, I don't physically think I'll be able to do it. Grant called me over after and told me that I need to start paying attention and as the leading lady I should be the one to show the others how to do the dancers. He said that he may not be the one who decides who's hired and fired but if he has any say in it, I won't be in the cast much longer unless I get better.

I can't believe it, I acted professional in front of him and told him that I was sorry and would certainly get better but now I'm in the car and the tears won't stop falling. I need Finn. My breaths are becoming short as I try and keep my tears at bay but nothing I working. I just want Finn to tell me everything will be alright. I'm going to call him.

"Hello, you've reached Finn Hudson, sorry I can't talk right now, leave a message and I'll try get back to you asap!..."

"Hi Finn, it's me, I just miss you so much and I need you! Please come home, bye."

I shouldn't have done that, now he's going to call back and want to know what's going on. There's no way I can hold it in then. I'm going to wait until I go to Quinn's, she'll know what to do. I won't tell her what's actually happening but I'll make something else up. Until then I will ignore all calls from Finn.


	5. Chapter 5

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 5**

"Rachel! Come in! I've missed you!" welcomes Quinn with Beth running up behind her.

"Hi Quinn, I've missed you too, hey Bethy, you've grown so big!"

"Auntie Rachel! I'm nearly 10! Will you come and play with me!?" says Beth in her ever playful voice

"She will in a minute Beth, go and play on your own for a bit while I talk to auntie Rachel, okay honey?"

I'm thankful to Quinn, as much as I love Beth, I need to talk to Quinn alone. She asks if I want a coffee, knowing that my answer will be yes and we go into the large kitchen ready for a catch up.

"So how have you been Quinn? Beth looks good!" I start, trying to sound well and normal.

"I've been amazing Rach, since Noah and I got married my life just seems to be perfect. Beth gets more beautiful everyday, she's clever but mischievous like Noah. And I have some news... I'm pregnant!"

"Oh Quinn, that's amazing, I'm so happy for you! Noah must be so excited!" I reply, I'm so happy for Quinn, she's an amazing mother, since she had Beth she grew up so much and became so caring and giving, her new baby will be very lucky!

"Thank you! I'm so excited! Noah started crying when I told him, we hope it's a boy so that Beth has a brother to protects her but we'll be happy with a girl too, we're just so happy! I'm nearly two months so you have a little longer to wait!"

I cringe slightly when Quinn says this because I know that the chances are, I won't be here to see the new baby for long.

"How about you Rach, how have you been?"

I muster up the courage to lie: "I'm great Quinn, missing Finn but the musical is going well and I can't wait to get married!"

Quinn is smiling and seems to have bought it but then her smile drops "Tell me the truth Rach, Finn called me and said that you left him a message crying and haven't picked up his calls for four days! You can tell me."

"Quinn, I I'm fine! I just had a bad day, I didn't purposely miss Finn's calls, my phone has been dead and I lost my charger!"

"Rachel, you've answered my calls! What's wrong!? I thought we told each other everything, if you don't want to marry Finn then tell me!" Quinn has started getting angry now, I just don't want to tell her.

"Of course I want to marry Finn! I love him I just..." At that moment, as if on cue, I got an excruciating pain in my stomach and doubled over in pain.

"Oh my god Rachel, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Quinn, just a bad breakfast, I'll be fine in a minute" I manage to choke out through the waves of pain coursing through my insides. Tears started streaming down my face. Quinn's surely going to know something is wrong now.

"Rachel, please just tell me whats wrong and I can help you through it, sure you sure it's not anything to do with Finn?"

The pain has began to subside, I have to tell her. I'll go straight to the point:

"I have stomach cancer, I'm dying and Finn doesn't know, and my dad's don't know, nobody knows"

Quinn's face dropped as she stepped back a few steps and began to cry.

"I'm so sorry Rach, you're going to be okay though right? I mean, your Rachel Barbra Berry, you are always okay!?... right?"

"Not this time Quinn, I've started chemotherapy but they said that it will only slow everything down, I've got about 10 months. Please don't tell anyone, especially not Finn, he can't find out."

"Oh Rachel, you have to tell him, there must be something you can do, anything, you can't leave me."

We sat in silence for a while both crying, we could hear Beth talking to her dolls in the room next door completely unaware of what was happening in the kitchen.

Quinn stands up and puts her arms round me, it feels so nice to be able to cry and have someone with me, I feel like I've been alone for so long. "When did you find out?"

"About 2 weeks ago."

"You've been alone for all this time and you didn't tell anyone!? You shouldn't be alone Rachel, please stay here."

"No Quinn, I'm fine, you, Noah and Beth need your space, I'm honestly fine, I'll call you if I need you."

"Rach, we don't need this whole house, you are staying here, Noah can pick you some stuff up on his way home from work. You're my best friend, you can stay with me until Finn gets back."

"Thanks Quinn, you're the best best friend ever!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 6**

Beth came running into the living room, heaven knows where she gets all the energy from! "Auntie Rachel, mummy said she wants to speak to you, I said we were playing a game but she said she doesn't need you for long!"

"Okay Bethy, save my seat for me and make sure you don't cheat!" I reply playfully, Beth is amazing, she's the cleverest child in her class at school but when she comes home she plays just like a child half her age. Finn and I always wanted a child but I don't suppose we'll get the chance now. Anyway, I went into the kitchen to find Quinn with the phone in her hand looking the angriest I'd seen her since Finn broke up with her at school.

"Ummm, hi Quinn, what's wrong?"

"Noah just called me. He had a call from Finn asking if he knew if you were okay cause he still hasn't heard from you and he's really worried. Noah lied and said he didn't and now Finn is petrified something's happened to you! You told me you called him four days ago! Have you still not told him!?"

"I'm sorry Quinn but I can't, I-"

"For goodness sakes Rachel, you need to tell him! He's your fiancee, I'm trying to help you and you just keep messing up!"

That was a shock. Quinn hasn't been mad at me at all since I told her the news but I guess she's had enough of me.

"Rachel! Are you going to say anything!? I don't care what's wrong with you, you need to get your act together, do you really think Finn's gonna care when you tell him?!"

Not going to care. She thinks my fiancee is not going to care. Does he not love me, has he told her? They have always been close. I have to leave, my eyes have started burning, the tears threaten to spill over and the pain is coming back in my stomach but I'm getting my stuff and going. I'd better go and say bye to Beth before because she'll be sad I'm going but I can't stay.

"Beth, I have to go but I will see you soon. Tell daddy I said bye and good luck at your school concert" I hug her and the tears start falling. As I walk out the door my stomach gets worse and I nearly fall over but I manage to get to the car and I begin to drive away.

About ten minutes into the journey my phone starts ringing, It's Quinn. Why would she ring? She obviously doesn't care. How can she say Finn wouldn't care? He's my fiancee!

**A Few Hours Later**

Quinn keeps calling me, I don't want to talk to her, I thought we were best friends! After a while she calls again, I'm just going to answer it and tell her to stop calling me.

"Rachel, are you there?"

"I'm here Quinn, can you just stop calling, I don't want to talk!"

"Rachel please listen! I'm so sorry, the baby hormones are making me go crazy, I just wanted you to call Finn and it all came out wrong! Can I come round?"

"Fine, come round Quinn but you can't stay long, I've got a hospital appointment"

About fifteen minutes later I hear a knock on the door. Quinn is there with a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers.

"I'm sorry Rach"

She looks so sad and sorry, I don't want to stress her out because it's bad for the baby so I just invite her in. For a few minutes we don't really say anything so I start...

"Why did you say he won't care? Has he told you that he doesn't love me?"

"God no Rach, I'm so sorry I made you think that! From what I've heard he is so in love with you! You know Santana and Mercedes went to sing for his troop? Well they said all the men said they're sick of him talking about you. They said that he told them he misses you so much and can't wait to marry you and have the life you've always wanted!"

This makes me cry... again! "But we can't have that life Quinn, he's gonna have to fall in love with someone else! Maybe he could marry Mercedes, they always got on well!? Or what about Sugar, they'd make a cute couple, the papers would love that!"

"Don't you dare say that Rach, you are going to have that life because Finn loves you and your are Rachel Barbra Berry, and your mum always said you gave a show smile that could cure cancer, so smile Rach and it will be fine!"

"Thanks Quinn, I've got to go to the hospital now but do you, Noah and Beth want to come round for dinner, I'll cook before I have to go back to work tomorrow?"

"That will be lovely, I'll pick them up, good luck!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 7**

"Morning Rachel, ready to work?" Asks Grant as soon as I arrive at the theatre. Since our summer break I have been so much happier and Grant has been much kinder.

We've only got one more rehearsal and then it's opening night! I'm very excited but so nervous! We've been rehearsing for months now and our whole cast has grown so close. I haven't got any better but the hospital gave me lots of painkillers and sleeping tablets to help me get properly rested so I can stay well. I still haven't spoken to Finn but I text him so that he knows I'm fine but I just don't want to talk on the phone but we will when he gets back. I don't know when that will be though, there has been no news of when he's returning, he normally calls me about a week before he's returning so that I can get ready but so far there's been nothing.

I'm so proud of Finn, he's an amazing man. When I think of how little he thought of himself at high school, I can see that he has become such a wonderful person. He joined the army to give his dad a memory and he managed to get his status changed to honourable instead of dishounourable, he liked the army life so decided to stay for a while but in between he has come back to New York and done various concerts and small musicals. He's become pretty well know on the Broadway scene and every time he comes back the directors are queuing up to get him in their show. Last time he came home he told me that this would be his last tour with the army but I don't know if that's true? I hope it is because I miss and worry about him so much when he's away.

Once this rehearsal is done I'm going to go home, watch the latest episode of Smash and text Finn. When I text him, I feel like we're together, but I can't call him because hearing his voice makes me miss him so badly. I've decided that when he comes home I am definitely going to tell him and I won't force him to stay because he feels sorry for me, if he wants to leave he can leave and I will be fine.

To be honest, the past few weeks, I haven't really had time to feel upset, we've been so busy with rehearsals and press conferences that I haven't had time to stop and think. When I do have time i just end up going to sleep so that I'm ready for the next day.

Although I know things aren't physically getting better, I feel better and if I keep feeling like this then maybe everything won't be so bad.

I haven't seen Quinn for a few weeks but she went to the hospital last week and she's having a boy! Just what they wanted! She said that Noah is so happy and he keeps planning what they're gonna do together! I'm incredibly happy for them. But now I'm back to rehearsal.

"Thank you everyone for all your hard work, we are definitely ready to take Broadway by storm, see you tomorrow morning for a quick run through! Make sure you all rest! Rach, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah sure, what is it?"

"Nothing wrong, I just want to say how proud I am of you, you have grown into a proper star before my eyes, if you don't win a Tony for this then the critics are mad! Your career is going to be a long one!" and with that James hugged me for the first time.

"Thank you so much" I knew he was wrong, my career isn't going to be long but at least I'll be in one more amazing musical!


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello lovelies! I've been so overwhelmed at the amount of people reading this story! I hope you like it! I know its a bit heavy but there will be happier chapters :) I've decided that I'm not going to upload the next chapter until I get at least 3 reviews so please review or leave a comment! I'd love to hear your feedback!**

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 8**

That was amazing! The opening night is over and I absolutely loved it! The audience was electric and the whole performance went off without a hiccup. Quinn is meeting me at the stage door but I'm assuming there will be a lot of people waiting for autographs first. I'll get my bags and then I'll go out, I love this part of the job where I get to meet the fans, they always look so happy and excited when I sign their program and take a picture with them. I used to be exactly the same, I'd wait for Idina Menzel and I waited for Sutton Foster after every performance of Shrek when it opened!

As I get nearer to the door I can hear the screaming fans, there's literally hundreds! Its a good thing we have bodyguards today! After roughly an hour and a half I can see Quinn at the end of the queue, Beth is waving at me and smiling holding a bear teddy which I bought for her when I last saw her. I sign the last few autographs and her some fans stories and take photos and then I'm done. Quinn hugs me and congratulates me; and Beth hands me a bunch of flowers.

Quinn turns to me and says "Look who we found waiting here for you" as I turn round I see Jesse St James my high school boyfriend who broke my heart then came and fixed it standing with some more flowers. I honestly thought it would be Finn but I knew it wouldn't be because he would have called me, however, I immediately pull Jesse in for a hug, he whispers sorry into my ear and I know that Quinn has told him about the cancer. I'm annoyed at her because I didn't want anyone knowing before Finn but I know that he won't tell anyone.

Quinn, Noah, Beth and I were all going out for dinner after the show so I invite Jesse too. We head to Sardi's in honour of my Broadway night and sit down for a carefree meal. As we sit down I get the stomach pain again but this time it's worse than its been before. I can barely breathe and I can see everyone's face round the table in shock. Beth asks Quinn what's wrong and Quinn tells her, Beth starts crying but I don't really register it. I feel so dizzy and I can barely see, I manage to mumble to Jesse that I need to go outside, he takes my hand and I lean all my weight on him as we slowly walk towards the door. Before we get there everything goes white and I collapse into Jesse's arms.

The next time I wake up I am in my bed at home and Finn is sitting beside me holding my hand. Finn. He's with me.

"Finn..."

"I'm here Rachie, you're okay"

Rachie, only Finn calls me that and he's here.

"How are you here? I thought you were in Afghanistan, you didn't tell me you were coming back?"

"I saw your opening night, I came as a surprise. I was going to meet you at Sardi's but then I saw you collapse and came home with you."

"Did you go to the hospital?"

"No, I wanted to but Quinn said you wouldn't want to so we came straight home, how are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts but I'm so happy you're here."

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong Rachie? Why didn't you want to talk?"

"I'm sorry Finn, I… I didn't… don't know how to tell you"

Its hard for me to talk, my throat is dry and its still hard for me to breathe, I can feel the tears begin to well in my eyes.

"You can tell me anything Rachie, don't worry, just tell me"

I have to tell him, I'll tell him quickly and then it will be over.

"I have stomach cancer, I'm dying. I love you. If you want to leave you can!"

**Will Finn leave Rachel now he knows? 3 reviews and then you'll know ;) Comment away! I hope you like it!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I didn't get 3 reviews but I couldn't wait to upload the next chapter- I hope you like it!**

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 9**

"What? Leave you?"

All the colour had drained out of Finn's face and he looked as though he was going to run away but instead, he said nothing and walked over to our bed and got in next to me hugging me while I cried. As he hugged me I could feel his body shaking and his tears soaking through my top.

"Please don't cry Finn, I don't want you to be sad, you'll be fine without me"

"Without you? Rachel you are not going to die, you are Rachel Barbra Berry."

"That's what everyone says but the doctors have told me already, I've got a year at the most. I'm so sorry Finn. I just want you to be happy so like I said, leave if you want."

We weren't looking at each other but we could tell that we were both crying.

"Rachel Berry, I love you so much, I will never leave you, you're my fiancée and the love of my life!"

I rolled over despite the pain in my stomach and kissed Finn. I had missed him so much but our reunion was bittersweet.

Quinn had called the doctor to come round and check on me to make sure everything was okay. As he knocked on the door Finn went to open it and welcomed the doctor in. He told me that I needed an emergency course of chemotherapy and an operation to see if they can remove any of the cancer. He said the operation is extremely risky but I need it this means I won't be able to work for the next few weeks- I don't know how James will take that. He also gave me a large IV course of morphine to help the pain subside for the night. When he left, Finn took my hand, which was shaking from nerves as well as the morphine and held it tight. Although the morphine did numb the pain, it made me feel even more nauseous until I went to sleep which took a while. As waves of nausea rushed over me, Finn carried me to the bathroom and held my hair and stroked my back as all my insides seemed to churn up.

This is what I've needed since I found out my diagnosis, I've needed Finn. He's always been there for me when I needed him. Like in my junior year when I had laryngitis and thought I'd lose my voice and Finn took me to see his friend Sean Frathold who had been paralysed playing football, as childish as Finn used to be and still is, he always becomes a strong man when he's needed. For instance, when Quinn first got pregnant and he thought that Beth was his he got a job and got money for Quinn. Of course Beth wasn't his (thank god!) but he was still there for Quinn when she went into labour. And now Finn is here for me and he's not leaving.

"Rachie, you need to drink this water so that you don't get dehydrated, I know you feel sick but this will help"

I take a big gulp even though it burns as it travels down my aching throat. The morphine seems to be doing more bad than good. Finn looks so tired, I'm not surprised, he's been traveling all day.

"Honey, go to bed, I'll be fine, you need to relax, I'm taking you around New York tomorrow for a welcome back tour!"

"That sounds amazing Rachie but I'm staying with you, you are my number one priority at the moment."

I manage a quick thank you before my stomach starts to spill its contents again. Around 1am my sickness has almost gone, the pain is numbed and I manage to fall asleep in Finn's arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 10**

When I wake up, I open my eyes to see Finn watching me. He looks like he's been crying because his eyes are puffy but he just sits up and smiles at me.

"How are you feeling?"

Shall I lie? No, I can't lie to Finn anymore.

"I feel bad, my stomach is in knots and my head is banging. How are you?" I reply with a laugh.

"Aw Rachie, I'm here for you, I'm fine as long as I'm near you, what do you want to do today?"

"I'm giving you a welcome home tour of New York remember! Nothing is going to stop Rachel Berry taking a good trip around her favourite city!"

"Are you sure Rach? We can go another day if you feel unwell?"

"We are going Finn! Come on lets get up and get ready, I'll meet you down stairs in half an hour."

I still feel awful but I just want to make Finn happy. And besides, New York is an amazing place, I'm sure I'll forget everything anyway! If I take some painkillers now I should be fine for the day, and I'll take some with me just in case. Finn and I are going to have a fantastic day!

"Rachel, I'm ready do you want a coffee before we go?"

"I'm fine Finn, we could go to get breakfast at a cafe?"

"Sure, great! See you in the car."

My hands won't stop shaking, that's why I don't want a coffee, I don't want Finn to see me like this, we'll go for coffee later, I should be okay then.

**3 Hours Later**

"That was the most amazing breakfast ever Rach, how have we never been to that place before? Where to now?"

"My dad's actually showed me this place when we went out together one day whilst you were away, but now you're back we can go all the time! Well I actually need to pop to the theatre because I haven't actually told James about the cancer yet but I'm really nervous, do you mind coming with me?"

"What do you mean? You haven't told him about the operation or you haven't told him at all?"

"I haven't told him at all Finn, please don't be mad but I'm just scared he'll fire me, if I lose that job I've got nothing!" I feel like crying again, I think it's a side effect of the tablets but I'll try and hold it in.

"Hey, calm down Rachel, everything will be fine, you are the star, they're not going to fire you but you need to tell them the truth."

"Sorry for all this Finn, I'm trying to not cry but I can't, everything is just going wrong, today was meant to be our day, a welcome back day for you and now I've turned it into the day from hell, I'm sorry, please just go home Finn and I'll see you there, I know Noah wants to see you so maybe you should go round there?"

"I'm staying with you Rachel, why do you keep telling me to leave? I love you more than anything and I am not going to leave you. We will go together to the theatre and whatever happens you will always be the most amazingly beautiful and talented woman I've ever known and you are going to keep taking Broadway by storm! I love you Rachel Barbra Berry, never forget that!"

Just as Finn is breaking my heart with the most amazing speech ever, a large group of paparazzi's have swarmed us and have started taking photos and asking us questions. Tears are falling freely from my eyes now and all the photographers can see, Finn grabs my hand and pulls me out of the group while trying to hail a taxi. I can hear the paparazzi's asking me what's wrong and all of a sudden, one grabs my arms and begins pulling it hard in the opposite direction of Finn. I don't really know what's happening but my arms is beginning to hurt now as the man holds it tighter, Finn has turned round now and starts shouting at the man. I can see what's happening but I'm boiling and feel like collapsing, I need to stay up though because I can't have photos of this in the papers. Finn punches the man in the face and carries me into a taxi, which has now pulled over.

"The Mitch Theatre please, fast!" Finn tells the taxi driver. I can see that he's breathing heavily and I worry that if we don't hurry he might go back and hurt that man more. I break the silence.

"Thank you Finn, you're always my hero!" My voice is shaking but Finn doesn't seem to notice.

"Did that idiot hurt you?"

"My arm aches a little and he dug his nails in my shoulder but that's all, it's fine Finn. He probably wanted a private interview!"

"He did hurt you then, I don't care what he wanted he has no right to be anywhere near you!"

"I know Finn but its okay, I'm absolutely fine just a little shaken up, nothing else. What about you? You hit him pretty hard?!"

"I wish I'd hit him harder! I just hate to think that when I'm away that could happen and you don't have anyone to protect you, the thought of you in pain kills me, I just love you so much!"

"I love you too Finn Hudson, so much but this is happening and as much as I pretend it's not, I'm dying. I know you love me but you need to let go and find someone else. I don't want you to be alone, I want you to have a family and be happy"

"I am happy Rach, I'm happy with you and I want to have a family with you, there is no way you are gonna die, we're gonna take you to have this operation and then everything will be back to normal but first we need to tell James."

"I love you Finn Hudson."

"I love you Rachel Berry."


	11. Chapter 11

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 11**

I'm in the theatre, Finn is waiting outside, I told him not to come in because I feel like I need to do this myself. Although James and I never used to get on too well, we're now quite close and he's never met Finn so it's best if it's just me.

I knock on James' office door and he welcomes me in.

"Hi Rachel, is everything okay, well done again for yesterday, everyone loved it!"

"Hi James, sorry to bother you, I just have some news I need to tell you."

"Okay, go ahead, I don't have much time 'cause I'm waiting for a phone call..."

"Right, so, about six months ago I went to the hospital because I wasn't feeling too well and they diagnosed me with stomach cancer. I started chemotherapy the next day, which was the first day of rehearsal, that's why I was so off. Anyway, I was told that I didn't have much time, I've been having chemo but the past few weeks haven't been too good, after the show yesterday I collapsed and the doctor said I have to have an emergency operation tomorrow to see if they can remove any of the cancer so is it okay if I have tomorrow and the next day off and then I promise I will be back in? I'm really sorry about this."

James isn't saying anything, he's just sitting there in silence, this seems to be most people's reaction when I tell them, maybe I should get used to it? Oh god, I hope James isn't thinking he'll fire me!

All of a sudden James stands up and walks round the desk to hug me.

"Please don't apologise Rachel, I'm so sorry for being so harsh on you at the beginning, I had no idea! You can have as much time off as you want and we'll just get your understudy to play your part."

"Thank you so much, I really am sorry about this though, I don't want to mess you around! I'll tell everyone after the show tonight and I'll keep you updated!"

Phew! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. To be honest, I was more nervous about telling James than I was Finn. I know it sounds stupid but I love my job so much and at a time like this I feel like if don't have my job I will go mad! I can't believe how understanding James was, Finn was right, he always is not that I tell him!

When I walk outside Finn is pacing up and down, he's so caring but sometimes I worry that he cares too much, he never takes enough time for himself but I will make sure he starts! As soon as he sees me he runs over.

"How did it go!? What did he say?"

"Okay Finny, breathe! He said it's fine, he said he's sorry for pressurising me and I can have as much time as I need, everything is fine!"

Finn let out a loud sigh of relief and I couldn't help but laugh, "Okay, so that went well now what about telling your dads? They should know sooner rather than later don't you think?"

"Whoa, I think there's been enough drama today with all the paparazzi's and James, how about we go out for dinner after the show and I'll call them before I go to the hospital, I don't have to be there until 3pm so there will be plenty of time!"

"That sounds perfect, I'll meet you at the stage door, good luck! I love you Rachie"

"Thank you, I love you too Finny!"

We have a quick hug and then I go inside to get my hair and makeup ready for the show, this may not be the most perfect time in my life but at least I have Finn.

**After The Show**

The show was amazing again and whole cast were extremely supportive, they all said they would be there for me and wished me luck for the operation so I feel so much better. I'm nervous about tomorrow but the doctors have assured me I will be fine, and there may even be a chance that it will give me more time!

I'm meeting Finn at the stage door, which will probably take a while because no doubt there'll be fans waiting for autographs, but then we can go out for dinner and relax before tomorrow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Only The Good Die Young**

**Chapter 12**

Oh god, I've just been out to get Finn and I a coffee before we went to see my dad's and I saw the papers. The front page is either 'Finn Hudson- The Abuser of Broadway' or, 'Broadway Star Rachel Berry Given Months To Live'.

This. Cannot. Be. Happening.

Sure, a lot of people saw Finn punch that guy, but he was doing it out of protection for me, why would someone say he's evil- Finn Hudson is the least evil person I've ever known! And as for me, the only people who could have told the papers about my diagnosis are Quinn and Puck, James, Finn or the rest of the cast.

I know that Quinn and Puck would never do that, I'm pretty sure James wouldn't because it might jeaopardise the show and Finn definitely wouldn't! I can't believe someone in the cast would do that! We've all been together for so long and I thought we were friends. I can't let Finn find out about this.

I need to go home and call Quinn, I hope my dads don't find out either, I need to tell them myself. If they've seen then there's nothing I can do but I just hope they haven't.

**Later At Home**

"Okay Finn, I've spoken to my dads and they said that we can go round now, I can't believe this has happened, I'm really sorry." I showed Finn the papers before I called, I knew I couldn't keep anymore secrets so I just told him. He was shocked but said that we just had to get over it.

"Its alright Rachel, I know its not your fault, I just don't know why someone would do this, are you sure we have time to go to your dads, we need to be at the hospital by 3?"

"It will be fine, we won't stay long and my bag is ready for hospital. Are you ready?"

"Yep, lets go!"

We're in the car on the way to my dads house, Finn and I are in silence as we are for most car journeys, Finn and I are always talking during the day but for some reason, car journeys are always silent, its like we're trapped in the car with nothing to distract us from the truth of our situation. The radio is on quietly in the background but neither of us are really paying any attention.

We get to my dads and they are waiting outside, they look like they've seen a ghost. Finn has stopped the car and I run over. "Dad, daddy, what's wrong, are you okay?!"

My dad answers "Is it true?"

Finn is next to me now. "Er, I-Is what true?" I hope they don't know, that's the worst way to find out!

"Do you have cancer?"

Great, they know. Finn is holding my hand and gives it a little squeeze. Before I can speak he asks if we can go inside to talk seeing as we're still standing by the front door. I'm suddenly really nervous to talk, Finn is giving me encouraging looks so I go ahead.

"Yes, its true, I found out a while ago but I wanted to wait to tell you, I'm sorry you didn't find out from me but I didn't know it would be in the papers."

"Its in the papers!?"

"What? Well, yes, isn't that how you found out?"

"No, James your director called to send his condolences, we had no idea what he was talking about!? How could you tell him before us?"

"I-I'm erm, I..." I've got no idea what to say, firstly I didn't even know James knows my dads and secondly, I've just told them I have cancer, they could be a bit more caring instead of being mad?! Finn has realised and begins to talk.

"Look, I know you're in shock but Rachel has been worried to tell you, she never wanted you to find out like this and she would have told you before but she didn't know how to. We understand you're upset but she needs your support at the minute."

Finn is incredible. He always knows exactly how I'm feeling. I put my arm round him. My dads look like they don't know what to say, daddy starts:

"I'm sorry Rachel, we love you but we are in shock, James said something about an operation but I think he got it wrong!"

Before I can speak Dad interrupts "Yes Rachel, now you know that doctors can get things wrong so we want you to go to our doctor and we also want you to stay with us for a while."

"Okay, well daddy first, James wasn't wrong, I'm actually going to the hospital in about 2 and a half hours to have a partial gastrectomy, the doctors can't see everything in my stomach so they're going to see what they can remove. And Dad, my doctors are wonderful, I have every faith in them. Why would I stay with you, Finn and I have our own house?"

"Oh, well, we didn't want to say anything but we heard about Finn's little outburst with the paparazzi and we think it's best if you stay apart for a while."

Finn is in shock, who do they think they are to say something like that? They've always loved Finn from when they first saw him, how have their opinions changed so fast?!

Neither Finn nor I are saying anything so my dads are continuing on about how Finn could be dangerous for me and that the army has affected him, they 'just want to keep me safe?'

"Excuse me, I have to leave, I'll wait for you in the car Rachel." Finn left.

I don't really know what to say? "Well, I'm leaving now because I need to get to the hospital, I'll text you how it goes and... you know what to be honest I'm at a loss for words, you of all people know what the papers make up, they twist everything to their advantage, so for you to not only believe what they say about Finn but to actually confront him on it is horrific of you. He is my fiancée, I love him and he will support me so there is no need for me to stay here."

My dads are silent again so I take this opportunity to leave, they aren't even going to say good luck for the operation, they didn't even hug me?!

I can see Finn in the car; he looks like he's crying but when he sees me he quickly covers it up. I get in the car and the silent journey starts again.


End file.
